New Year's Resolutions December Update with 2014 Resolutions!

It's been a whole year. Finally. In this post I will look back on this whole year within the context of my resolutions and reflect and learn from the successes (few) and mistakes (lots) I made in my resolutions from 2013.

So wait, what were they again? Okay, here were my 3 resolutions for 2013:

Resolution #1 Achieve my ideal weight.

Obviously, this didn't happen. If anything it was a bad year for weight loss. It was more like a scary roller coaster ride, with lots of ups and down.

I think I know part of the mistake I made in this resolution. "Achieving your ideal weight" is too vague and not specific enough to be pursued.

The better question to be asked is not what I want, which is achieve my ideal weight, but rather what must I do to do that, which I will answer in my resolutions for 2014!

Resolution #2 Keep my room clean, year long.

Another area where I failed miserably and I think the same mistake applies as above. Too vague and not specific enough.

Yes, I do want my room clean, but what steps do I need to take in order to keep it clean?

Resolution #3 Update my blog regularly, minimum once a week.

I did much better on this resolution. It is no surprise now that part of the reason of why I did so well was because it was a specific resolution.

There is something to be learned here.

Resolutions for 2014!

2013 is gone and many lessons were learned. With that in mind I'm ready to share my resolutions for 2014!

Resolution #1 Calorie count everyday: I want to lose weight, but calorie counting can be a powerful tool I can use for weight loss. So instead of having the big bright and ideal goal of achieving my ideal weight, dividing that goal into little pieces and focusing on them can be immensely helpful!

Resolution #2 Spend 30 minutes a week cleaning my room: The same logic as above applies here. If I can manage on cleaning my room for 30 minutes a week then I can probably achieve the ideal goal of keeping my room clean.

Resolution #3 Update my blog twice a week: don't fix what isn't broken. This resolution helped me a lot in keeping this blog somewhat updated. Here is hoping I do even better this year.

What are your New Year's Resolutions? Do you even make resolutions? Why or why not?

New Year's Resolutions November Update!

It's the most wonderful time of the year. At least it is one of the most busy times of the year.

This post comes almost a month late, and right before 2013 comes to a close, I find it appropriate (if tragically late) to update my New Year's Resolution.

I have stuck with this for almost a year! Unfortunately, as the year is coming to a close, it hasn't been a consistent ride.

But enough of that! Let's review my New Year's Resolutions for the month of November.

Resolution #1: Achieve my ideal weight.

It hasn't been that great of a month. At least what I can remember from this month (remember, I'm writing this a month too late). I have found difficulty finding, or better said making, time to exercise.

I usually start work at 9 AM and get off at 5 PM. By the time I'm off it's already dark, and I feel uneasy about going out and exercise. My neighborhood is not safe. If anything it is infamously unsafe.

Going out at that hour by yourself and for a long period of time is not only unwise, but borderline insanity.

Of course, I have the option of waking up early enough to do some exercise before going to work. I know that seems like a wise option. But I'm sleeping okay?! Enough said.

Resolution #2: Keep my room clean, year long.

There was a point around mid-November that I got tired of my messy room, and I said to myself "enough is enough!". I proposed that I'd spend at least 30 minutes cleaning my room, and be done with it for goodness sake.

Unfortunately, the time came to clean it, and I spent close to 20 minutes cleaning it. Being overwhelmingly happy about the progress I decided to stop.

Of course, the room wasn't completely unmessy at that time, and has remained so for the rest of the month.

Resolution #3: Update my blog regularly, minimum once a week.

Seriously? Whoever thought of that resolution! Turns out that updating your blog demands some serious work. Who knew?

Anyways, I am glad I made this resolution, in spite of the fact that I failed miserably for the month of November.

I am glad because this blog has been updated with more regularity than before, and that, my friends, is progress. Trying to remain positive here.

Well friends. It is dark outside. I'm almost ready for my New Year's party. The city lights are dimly shining outside my windows. It is time to go for now.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

The Church should be a Hospital

[Mar 2:16-17 ESV] 16 And the scribes of the Pharisees, when they saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors, said to his disciples, "Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?" 17 And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners."

I believe that we as Christians, as "little Christs" and followers of Him, we are to model Him, not only in His vision of ministry, but also in His attitudes toward sinners.

My heart is warmed when I read this passage, as I see Jesus' spending His precious and valuable time eating with sinners and tax collectors, what people considered the "scum of the earth" in those days.

Eating, in Jesus' time, was more than just eating food. It was a time to share food, ideas, experiences and simply life.

Eating was communal. Jesus was making community with sinners.

Think about it. He could have chosen to make community with the elite; the religious leaders, those in positions of authority in the roman world, and yet he chooses to spend his precious time and beautiful presence with sinners.

This blows my mind.

What also blows my mind is how different the church can be from Jesus.

I have observed and heard from many an attitude from churchgoers that mirrors more the Pharisees' than it does Jesus'

I look at my parish and wonder, if a smelly, homeless, drug addict walked in to church, would he feel welcome? Would people sit next to him or her? Would they try to keep their kids away from that person?

If a transgender individual walked in, would he feel welcomed and loved?

If someone suffering from alcoholism walked in, still with a hangover, would he or she feel welcomed and loved?

When I walk in my church, I wonder, "where are the homeless, the drug addicts, the prostitutes and pimps? Where are the drug dealers and the gangsters?"

Are our churches devoid of such people because the so called "sinners" are uninterested about God?

Or is it because they don't feel welcomed and loved?

Sure, we can shortcut to the first option, but I believe all of us have a hunger for God, for our hearts are restlessly yearning for its creator until they rest in Him.

I believe they don't usually come because they don't feel loved and accepted.

The church should be looking for the sinners. If Christ is our redemptor, if He truly is our savior, then our main interest should be sinners.

If the church (and I talk here not of the institution or a building, but of the community of believers, the mystical body of Christ) is like a hospital, then it should be filled with sick people.

But we can be so busy criticizing the sick that we forget that Christ is our cure! What a dysfunctional hospital we can be! A hospital full of doctors so busy criticizing and commenting and complaining about the sick and yet refusing to take care of them!

And when we do "take care of them" is usually so unChrist like. We Bible thump and call to repentance, we quote scriptures and point fingers. We remind them of their "shameful" sins and worldliness and their need to just "repent and change".

But we don't see this in Christ dealing with sinners. He had community with them.

The Bible tells us that He ate with sinners, not used-to-be-and-now-converted-sinners, meaning He never waited for them to repent before making community with them. He simply accepted them into His presence before they even repented! How opposite is that from what many of us do!

No brothers and sisters, it is in community that mutual repentance must come, not apart from community.

And before we can have community we must accept each other into our collective presence.

Community comes first, repentance and change as a result from community with Christ and His body.

We have it twisted. We demand that sinners repent and get "sanitized" enough before they are accepted into our community.

Brothers and sisters, let us fill our churches and our communities with the sinners the world most hate; the rejected, the drunk and the hungover.

Let us hold the hand of the drug addict on the streets, even if his or her other hands is still busy injecting their bodies with drugs.

Let us not just give food to the poor, but also sit down in the same table with them, eating the same food we give them while we share our life with them.

Let us go and make community with  the one prostituting their body on the street, even as they wait for their next "client".

Let's go and eat with sinners again, just as Jesus did. Maybe in the end we will realize we are just sinners like them.                                                                                                                              

New Year's Resolutions October Update!

What a month! I've been recently occupied with retreats, backpacking trip, and the much needed restful collapse.

The fall colors are in full bloom, with reds, yellows and browns sporadically glazing over the vast green. It is a beautiful time of the year, the in betweeness of summer and winter leaving us with unpredictable weather.

But enough of that! Let's jump into my New Year's Resolutions...

Resolution #1: Achieve my ideal weight.

So my first backpacking trip really helped with this resolution. We hiked for 10 miles and drank lots of water.

It was a beautiful, uncomfortable, and great experience!

Earlier on November (I know, I know, this is an October update, but I still want to share this. So to all the over-technical pharisees: please indulge me) I started a juice fast! I was originally shooting for 7 days, but I only managed 4 days and a half.

The first day was absolutely horrible. Headaches, nausea, weakness. Second day I woke up with migraines that lasted till late afternoon.

Third day was much better. I felt more clearly headed. I didn't feel as hungry as I did the first day.

Fourth day was equally good. And then the fifth day...

The migraines returned. I felt weaker and weaker. Light headed and nauseous. After three juices at 12 PM, things only got worse.

I felt the world turned upside down. Cold sweats, shaking. Darkness slowly covering my vision. I looked at my shaking hands and they looked pale, and then, I got scared.

I had to break the fast early. I ate two oatmeal cookies and felt almost instantly better.

I guess I have to be extra careful with fasts when I'm diabetic.

I wish I had weighed myself at the beginning of the month to see how much weight I lost, but I can say that I did lose weight. People have made comments on how "skinnier" I looked.

Resolution #2: Keep my room clean, year long.

I have been trying to go back to my old trick of cleaning up my room for short intervals of time every day, making the dreaded task more bearable.

While my room looks a bit better because of this feeble attempt, it still is a long way from being clean.

Part of this is my lack of consistency, as I find myself doing other things.

Resolution #3: Update my blog regularly, minimum once a week.

It has been almost a month since I last updated this blog. True, I have been more busy as of late, but whenever I made time for writing I took off for more entertaining and less mind demanding experiences.

But I have some things brewing inside my mind and heart that I want to share with all of you soon, so stay tuned!

Loneliness vs. Solitude

Believe it or not, one of the most difficult things for me about moving into my own place is not so much the responsibilities this would entail, but a sense of loneliness that was and at times is, difficult to shake off.

I rent a small room in a house full of disconnected people. There's like 7 of us living in a house, with hardly any connection with each other.

We share bathroom, kitchen, and sometimes words.

My room is small. Being there can feel very trapping.

I hardly felt at home at this place.

Sundays were the worst days. I would go to Mass in the morning, talk with some friends, and then, disappear into my room.

I mean, what else could I do? Pray? Check. Watch a movie? Check. Listen to music? Check.

The loneliness still persisted.

I would usually try to escape this feeling of loneliness by going to spend a weekend visiting my parents, escaping with friends from church on odd adventures, or visiting friends nearby.

A few months back I had an intuition that God was and is trying to use this time for something.

I felt Him speaking to me, one lonely Sunday afternoon, "Why don't you use this time to practice solitude with me?"

The obvious became clear, as it's often the case when one encounters some wise words. Herein lies my solution; not in escapades or in entertainment, but in solitude with God.

I mean, I've done solitude before. I had some solitude retreats before, and while it can be difficult at times, it usually is a calm, healing and reflecting time with God.

But what was missing with my Sunday afternoons was simply intentionality. If I were intentional in using that time as "solitude time with God" then the loneliness would usually leave me.

There is huge difference between loneliness and solitude, though outwardly it may look the same.

Loneliness may be a part of bigger issues that we need to address with God, and solitude may be our dealing of those issues with God. Both can be painful, but one leaves you thirsting while the other satisfied.

Loneliness is a thirst for water, solitude is drinking from the fountain of living water.

New Year's Resolutions September Update!

The month of September is one of the few months were I felt I made some tangible and recognizable progress!

It hasn't been perfect. It never is.

It is one month, however, where I felt more in control in many areas of my life. It didn't start with a happy sunrise, but with a gloomy and cloudy environment. I was in a funk.

God took all of this and transformed it by reminding me of some lessons learned and ignored with the helpless passing of time.

More on that later! Let's dive in into my 2013 resolutions.

Resolution #1: Achieve my ideal weight.

I lost some weight! I have decided to exercise more. Last week, for example, I started running!

I always hated running. It seemed to me like a torturous punishment, and seeing how many types of effective exercise are out there, it seemed pointless to me.

Impulsed by some friends I decided to give it a try. Who knows? Maybe I'll get used to it and start liking it.

Resolution #2: Keep my room clean, year long.

Okay, my room is still a mess, but at least it's less messy than before! I have made small but important improvements.

I have said many times before in this blog that the opportunity to mature comes at you daily, even in seemingly unimportant tasks.

What I have discovered this month, however, is that it goes beyond tasks. It can all be covered under the umbrella of decisions.

Life is full of decisions. To some of us, accustomed to the habitual MO of life, it can be incredibly easy to live it in autopilot.

This can take away from us the power of conscious decision making, and I have come to believe that the best way to grow is by taking this power back.

Anyways, small conscious decisions have helped me clean up my room a bit.

Resolution #3: Update my blog regularly, minimum once a week.

I am glad to say that I've done this for the month of September!

This blog serves to me an utilitarian purpose. It really helps me to keep focused on the journey I decided to take a year ago.

The commitment I took to update this blog has helped me in being focused and accountable in this journey. 

I'm glad I took it.

God is committed to us

It's been a year since I started this blog! Back then I realized that I needed some serious changes in my life if I was to continue doing the work God is calling me to do.

I made the commitment to God to mature more in His image. This blog was a way to document and share those struggles.

There are a few things I have learned this year. Maturity comes slowly, painfully slow.

It's not like I naively believed that by the end of the year I would be a complete new person, equally balanced in all the right places.

But I never thought it would be this slow.

I also learned that growth comes not steadily, but in stages. This is important to know, since disappointment can quickly sink in at seeing how you sometimes take 3 steps forward and then two back.

The most important thing I learned, however, is that God remains heavily committed to us throughout this process.

No matter how little growth we bring back to Him, no matter how hopeless we may feel in some stages, He never gives up on us.

He never gave up on me.

There were times were I thought change was almost impossible, too difficult for me, and therefore felt hopeless about the whole enterprise.

I felt weary, and wanted to try no more.

I didn't see, however, how God in His Grace was working behind the scenes.

I didn't see how He slowly brought subtle changes, not because I made the changes, but because in every encounter with Him, in every single moment of intimacy, His presence slowly changes you.

I was driving home one night after work when it suddenly dawned on me how God has remained committed to me.

Those who have been reading this blog know that I struggle with being firm. It is in fact, one of the most difficult traits I need to grow in my life.

At the beginning of the year, the owner of the gas station called me in to the office.

He said "you really need to pay more attention to shoplifters. I haven't seen anyone as bad as you for keeping shoplifters out! They know when you work and they come here to steal! I told you this many times now. At this point it would be cheaper to hire somebody else. Please do this!"

I know I needed to pay more attention. I know I needed to be more firm with shoplifters, otherwise I would lose my job. I took this as an opportunity to grow in my firmness.

After a few months of trying, my assistant manager told me one night before leaving work, "I just talked to the owner and he is very pleased with how you've been working. You are like one of our top 4 know in keeping shoplifters out!"

As I was driving home that night, still digesting those words, I felt as if God was speaking in my heart "I'm committed to you".

Hallelujah! He is committed to us!