It's been a year since I started this blog! Back then I realized that I needed some serious changes in my life if I was to continue doing the work God is calling me to do.
I made the commitment to God to mature more in His image. This blog was a way to document and share those struggles.
There are a few things I have learned this year. Maturity comes slowly, painfully slow.
It's not like I naively believed that by the end of the year I would be a complete new person, equally balanced in all the right places.
But I never thought it would be this slow.
I also learned that growth comes not steadily, but in stages. This is important to know, since disappointment can quickly sink in at seeing how you sometimes take 3 steps forward and then two back.
The most important thing I learned, however, is that God remains heavily committed to us throughout this process.
No matter how little growth we bring back to Him, no matter how hopeless we may feel in some stages, He never gives up on us.
He never gave up on me.
There were times were I thought change was almost impossible, too difficult for me, and therefore felt hopeless about the whole enterprise.
I felt weary, and wanted to try no more.
I didn't see, however, how God in His Grace was working behind the scenes.
I didn't see how He slowly brought subtle changes, not because I made the changes, but because in every encounter with Him, in every single moment of intimacy, His presence slowly changes you.
I was driving home one night after work when it suddenly dawned on me how God has remained committed to me.
Those who have been reading this blog know that I struggle with being firm. It is in fact, one of the most difficult traits I need to grow in my life.
At the beginning of the year, the owner of the gas station called me in to the office.
He said "you really need to pay more attention to shoplifters. I haven't seen anyone as bad as you for keeping shoplifters out! They know when you work and they come here to steal! I told you this many times now. At this point it would be cheaper to hire somebody else. Please do this!"
I know I needed to pay more attention. I know I needed to be more firm with shoplifters, otherwise I would lose my job. I took this as an opportunity to grow in my firmness.
After a few months of trying, my assistant manager told me one night before leaving work, "I just talked to the owner and he is very pleased with how you've been working. You are like one of our top 4 know in keeping shoplifters out!"
As I was driving home that night, still digesting those words, I felt as if God was speaking in my heart "I'm committed to you".
Hallelujah! He is committed to us!