The Ups and Downs of Youth Ministry.

It's been two interesting weeks to say the least. Life is giving me the opportunity of choices and decisions, decisions that can have serious repercussions in my life.

It hasn't been easy, but then again it never is. Without getting too much into the details, I have been offered two ministry options; I have also been rethinking my role at my current ministry, the difficulties that accompany it given my peculiar situation that I described in other posts, and whether I should continue in it.

Thanks be to God, I feel that I have been given clarity on the matter, and I hope that I am doing His will in the end, though it is impossible to completely purify our motives.

The ministry continues with its up and downs, as it always has. Last Thursday, two of our boys came drunk and made a big spectacle. It is hard to deal with these situations, and can be potentially dangerous. One of them even wanted to get in a fight with me. This was surprising because I have been ministering with this kid for quite a while now.

The meeting was almost canceled. No, let me rephrase that. We practically had no meeting. All of our energies  occupied in trying to control the situation.

In one of my visits to Juvenile Hall I saw a kid who was playing with a car that doubled as a candy dispenser. An oddity to be sure. He was so concentrated with his candy-giving toy, that I could hardly speak to him about anything, let alone God and the Bible.

"How did you get that?" I finally asked him. "In a Bible study, I gave the right answer to a question and I won". "Oh really? What was the question?"."Who was Jesus' betrayer". "Judas, right?". "Is it Judas?! I said Simon".

Sure, Peter's denial of Jesus can be portrayed as betrayal, but still, my guess is that whoever organized the Bible study just wanted to make the kid happy. We decided to play chess for the time remaining, where I lost miserably. Need to get back to chess.

I saw the guy who was drunk last Thursday and wanted to fight with me, who also happens to be Marcos. "Hey I wanted to talk to you about last Thursday". He smiled and just said "I know, estaba pedo (drunk)!", then he added, "I feel bad about it...I f***ed up man, I'm telling you man to man". That is the closest he could get to an apology, which was enough for me.

Photo Credit: KirrilyRobert.

What Does it Feel Like to Have a Normal Life?

It was a cold afternoon in December of 2010. I was getting out of college and meeting with a young guy who comes to our youth group. His brother, Marcos*, was shot a few weeks ago.

He was in the hospital, recuperating from a bullet wound on his back. He was barely able to walk with the help of crutches. He can't move one of his feet.

After meeting with Marcos' brother at mission street, where most of the gang activity in the city occurs, we hopped on the bus and headed over to the hospital where Marcos is. This would be the first time that I would meet Marcos.

Marcos' charisma was still shining through his smiles and his perennial jesting, treating everyone around him with great hospitality and warmth. After an hour, Marcos' brother and I leave the hospital and decide to go to his house.

"I don't think I would go to heaven when I die" Marcos' brother told me while we walked in the hospital's hallway. "Why not?". "Because of all the things I've done".

We got home, and his girlfriend was in the house with their little child. I was hungry and in need of burritos. "Let's go out and eat, I'll invite you". Marcos' brother was resting in his bed, not too excited with the idea. His girlfriend was, and convinced him to go.

"What does it feel like to have a normal life?" he asked me while eating. I am surprised by the question and remained silent for a few seconds. I looked at his girlfriend and their toddler, who was struggling to eat some chips with her feeble, stubby little fingers. If this is not "normal" than I don't know what else is.

"What do you mean, you do have a normal life". "No" he quickly answered. "I can't go wherever I want, you can", reminding me of how careful he has to be in order to not be noticed by a rival gang member. He can't be careless now, with a family to raise. He is not longer gang-banging and has an honest job where he is doing great. He's been recently promoted.

At one occasion during dinner, he raised his fist and offered me to punch it. I did. "You know what that means?" he asked me. "What does it mean?". "It means that we're friends now".

*Name has been changed to protect privacy. To see other posts about Marcos click here.

Photo Credit: Mike McCaffrey.

The Nature of the Ministry

Sometimes it is not easy. Sometimes this ministry has a way of surprising you, in good and bad ways. Sometimes I ask myself, what have I got myself into?

I have a sense of this question this past Thursday. We had a fancy dinner/party that we were invited to. The invitations could not be obtained in time and we couldn't attend. I realized this, of course, only after I had dressed up for the event.

Oh well, this party was to be replaced by going to a karaoke place. Fun! But this too was canceled. The reasons for this are unfortunate.

Someone who has been coming to our group for quite some time, and who is not a gang member but knows a few of them, decided to stay drinking that night instead of coming with us. He got jumped by gang members and we had to pick him up.

This is sad because this young guy is really trying to change his life, and even made some great progress, but alcohol is his weakness.

The outing was canceled, and everyone called it a night.

Did I mention that a little more than a month ago some guys who we minister to took the van used for the ministry one night without permission , joy rid on it, and screwed up the suspension?

Oh yes, this ministry has its way of surprising you, by constantly throwing at you the unexpected. And we are just along for the ride...

Photo Credit: John Holden on Flickr.

I'm not Ashamed of the Gospel - the simplicity of the gospel.

The message of the Gospel is simple. It's simplicity is such that it can be covered in one verse, as it is the case with John 3:16 and Romans 10: 9.

Seeing this, we can be tempted to unnecessarily complicate the message, and in trying to add to the message of the Gospel, we can be diluting it's essential message, and unfortunately, its power.

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 1:18: "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God" (NIV). Its power lies not in the complexity or sophistication of its message, but on the living Word, which is Christ Himself.

Paul also said: "When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified." (NIV). Again, its power lies not in its "eloquence" or "superior wisdom" but on the power of Jesus Crucified. This was demonstrated in the ministry last night.

In our meeting we shared the story of Christ's passion. The message was simple and clear to them: Christ took our place, took the punishment we deserved, and we are forgiven of our sins by his sacrifice. The guys were on fire! One young gang member even repeated the simplicity of the message with great enthusiasm, telling us how we are forgiven by God.

One guy told us that this marked the first week since he quit smoking weed. Last week he asked for our prayers to help him change.

Ideas on how to improve the ministry and how to spread the word about it were being shared by them.

Curiosity about the Gospel arose. They started to share the Gospel by themselves while the discussion raged. The fire and power of the Gospel was clearly on display last night, in all its glorious simplicity.

Photo Credit: Peat Bakke.

Conversion is a Slow Process...

Our path to the cross is one decision away, but it takes
a lifetime to traverse.

Reading the Acts of the Apostles, one is tempted to think that conversion is a one time event. It seems that we, as responsibles of Jesus' Great Commission, must simply preach the Gospel and expect great numbers of converts. Most often than not, this is not the case.

I remember when I started to get involved in youth ministry with Comunidad San Dimas more than 4 years ago and my almost naive expectations of the ministry. I thought that we would just preach the Gospel, call for repentance, and see mass conversions. Unfortunately, this has not been the case.

I remember having a conversation with a member of Comunidad San Dimas, seeing my disillusionment with the lack of conversions. She told something like this: "You never know what's the end result". This is especially true in some aspects of our ministry, as we go and share the Gospel in prisons, and we don't see what happens to most of them after they go out of jail.

Conversion is a painfully slow process. Change doesn't happen overnight. Conversion is a gradual step, a perpetual construction where God, our Architect, is constantly working in areas where we allow Him . While I'm not saying that miraculous conversions don't happen anymore (as it had happened in the ministry, and I will share one story of such conversion in a later post) most often than not it doesn't happen overnight.

Let us look at our own conversion stories for evidence. I'm sure most of us didn't convert to God overnight. By golly if you did, I want to hear your story!

And so, as I and many other work with these "kids" (as we like to call them, as an endearing term of course), or with any other population, it is important to remember that conversions is a process so slow, that it last a lifetime. Indeed, all believers are in this process, a process of constant repentance and change, a process that last until we die.

New Blog Changes...

I have made some important and major changes to my blog that I want to explain. The changes are not merely in the design, but changes will also come in the content of the blog. So many things will change that this can be considered a brand new blog. Random thoughts is no more...

So what are the changes?

• Content: I thought that Random thoughts covered too many topics. While there is nothing wrong in taking a holistic approach to blogging, I think it's better to narrow down my topics, and concentrate on a niche. Content, from now on, will concentrate mainly on the ministry that I work in San Francisco. The blog will retain its personal aspect, however.
• Design: I had worked somewhat in improving the look of Random thoughts, and never felt satisfied with it. It seemed too simplistic. I think the new design is better and fits perfectly the new theme of the blog. Of course, I will work on improving the design as the blog progresses.
• Posting: Random thoughts was my first serious attempt in getting somewhat serious in blogging, but it was nothing more than a hobby. The blog was neglected, and there was time that I paid little attention to it. This will change, as I will try to be more constant and serious in my blogging. After all, I want to glorify God in this blog, so while the blog will retain its personal taste, its main focus will be God and the ministry.

I want to dedicate this blog to the glory of God, and while my feeble attempts can't add nothing to His perfect glory, it is my desire that He will be glorified through this blog. It is my humble prayer that this blog will be under the patronage of the Blessed Virgin Mary, St. John Bosco St. Thomas More and St. Dominic Savio; please pray for us!

P.S: Yes, the title of this blog is inspired by the song "God of this City" by Chris Tomlin, one of my favorite songs. If you haven't listened to it, here it is:

I Strongly Feel God is Calling me to be a Saint...

I remember my conversion 9 years ago. I remember the refreshing air that seemed to surround my atmosphere. This fresh air brought winds from a new creation. This is the best way I can describe what I was feeling in those days: the joy, the peace, and the incredible desire to be a saint.

But, as the years started to go by, and life's experiences brought me back to even where I was before I converted, that feeling started to "die" slowly, so slowly, that I was unaware of its own death.

I tried to revive this feeling, and while I made some progress in terms of devotion, the feeling was hard to resurrect. It seemed that no matter how hard I tried, the feeling remained dormant, with little hints of it surviving. Until now...

These past events in my life, including the current storm, has brought me into an intimacy with God. "I feel" I told my spiritual director once "I feel as if God and I are in a honeymoon at this moment". This intimacy has gradually increased with time, and as the tribulations rise, His love is even more abundant.

Even though I don't feel God is calling me to be a priest or a religious, even though I'm probably headed to marriage, in despite of all this, I feel so strongly in my heart that I must be a saint, and nothing else would suffice. I feel God is tugging strongly in my heart, this sense of tranquil urgency; I must be a saint, there is no way out of it.

But I believe all of us are called to be a saint. We must receive this calling in our hearts as well, while we are looking for Him, our Beloved, in prayer. Will I fail? If I trust in my own strength, in my own habits and humanity, I will surely fail. With God? I cannot fail.