It's that time of month again, where I get to divulge my progress (or lack of) in my New Year's Resolutions.
Oh dear New Year's Resolutions! Cursed is the day that I met and found you! You lured me in with your sweet promises and your captivating dreams, and when I come to you, you run and taunt "catch me if you can!". With those big dreamy eyes, how difficult it is to forget you!
Okay, enough of that. Let's get into the details.
Resolution #1 Achieve my ideal weight:
To be honest, I didn't lose any weight this month. To say that I'm disappointed is an understatement. More than disappointed I feel trapped.
It is easy to forget how difficult weight loss actually is. When you look at the formula of weight loss (less caloric intake + more exercise = weight loss) it seems very simple and easy. But lost in the equation is the human factor.
I have to recognize that I simply have a food addiction, and the only way I can lose and maintain my weight is through managing this addiction.
Anyone who has gone through an addiction knows that it is not easy to get out of it. Granted, getting out of a food addiction is not as glamorous (or as difficult) as, say, drug addiction, but it is still difficult to control.
I have been eating a bit less this week. My body feels dissatisfied, as if I'm depriving it of something that it needs, even though I have eaten what I need.
When my body asks for more food, indeed, demands that it needs more food, I stop and try to listen to it. Why are you saying this? Where is it coming from? Is it true what you are telling me?
You see, it was easy to listen to this voice and believe it simply because it felt true. Besides, the body is usually trustworthy in telling you what it needs, like rest and water for example, and one has learned from experience to do what it says.
And whenever I neglect this seeming need, there is an emptiness in me, like something is missing. It almost feel as if I'm missing out on something. These are the voices I need to listen and challenge.
God, fill the emptiness that I'm trying to fill with food. This is usually my prayer, and slowly, my emptiness goes away.
Resolution #2 Keep my room clean, year long:
At the beginning of this month, my room was fairly clean, and then I had an excuse for not keeping it clean.
The past two weeks have been really busy, what with retreats to plan and camping trips to attend. But now that my life is getting back to "normal", it is time to get back on track.
I have started yesterday, slowly reorganizing some books that I got from my old place (yes even more) and today getting rid of my mounting laundry.
Oh boy, what a never ending task this is!
Resolution #3 Update my blog regularly, at least once a week:
I honestly love writing and I love writing on my blog, so you would think this would be the easiest resolution to keep.
But there is a difference between loving what you do and being disciplined in it. I didn't post anything last week! I have to be careful of these small slips because it can be a slippery slope for me!
That's it for this month, see you next!