One of the things I know I need is healing. The past always deals us cuttingly, leaving us more than just bittersweet memories.
Events that occurred in the past, even the ones we don't remember, can leave in us a wound that time never heals.
These wounds can manifest themselves in many ways, from anxiety and fear and even small personalities quirks. Unfortunately, these wounds can also prevent us from becoming what God created us to be.
These wounds can prevent us from being who we really are.
Anxiety and fear, for example, can create walls and avoiding behavior that serve as defense mechanisms against the object, event or person that creates the anxiety and fear.
Walls are divisive and can ultimately imprison us.
This is just one example of how wounds prevent us in living and being the life Christ calls us to be.
Healing is therefore essential in our spiritual growth, in our growing in likeness of Him.
One time I took a retreat to look deeply into the wounds that are causing my anxieties. It was a 3 day retreat in a ranch far away from the city. Silence and solitude were unavoidable. Even my guitar and Bible were left behind.
It was just me and God during most of the time.
What I found during my time with Him were memories from my childhood, some of them I had even forgotten about but were later confirmed by my parents as true events.
I could only go through some of my memories, and there is still much more healing to be done, but my anxiety has become more controllable ever since.
We can't simply wait out our healing, as present events can resurface old forgotten wounds. Sometimes we may not know why we feel how we feel because the memory might be lost, but the wound is still lurking behind, working behind the scenes with our emotions.
Healing is therefore intentional.
Christ is longing to heal us. He comes to us as He did with many of the sick people of His time, asking us "What do you want?"
I hope our answers will be "Lord I want to see".