Sunday, May 9, 2010

Week 12 of my weight loss challenge.

It's been too long since I last wrote, and for that I want to apologize. It is not that I discontinued my weight loss challenge. Neither is the case that I was too busy. I was certainly busy but I could have made the time to write. I've been simply caught up in other things. But here I am, for those who are reading (I know there might be a couple readers out there, though sometimes it feels like screaming to a vast empty valley), I promise to keep up reporting my journey.

It's almost the end of the semester, thank God for that. It's been a tough one, but a very satisfying one. God willing, I will be transferring to San Francisco State University to pursue my Bachelor's degree in Philosophy. I feel this is an important milestone in my life. I actually never thought this moment would come. I've been in College for 6 years, studying part while working full time. Being with the Augustinian community has finally enabled me to finish college, and I still can't believe that this important moment is just around the corner. It's been too long, but I'm finally almost there.

But why really, do we think this way of our distant goals? I remember when I was working and studying. The goal of finishing College seemed so distant that I almost felt it was impossible. Paradoxically, I continued studying with limited motivation, even though deep inside of me there was a voice who was telling me "I don't believe you will finish this". There is the almost constant motivation that I should study, it is the right thing to do. I should at least try, even though I was not convinced that I would finish. Perhaps I thought I wasn't good enough, or that someone as lazy as myself would probably not be able to invest the time necessary to achieve such goals. Worst of all, I got used to the idea. I got used to the idea of being lazy, and living life as it came.

When it comes to weight loss the exact same thing would happen. Weight loss was always one of my goals. So distant that it was, and so much work would I need to put into it that a lazy person like me could hardly begin to do it. I would sign up for the gym, go at it for a week, and then simply forget about it. I should at least try, it is the right thing to do. But did I ever believe that I would ever do it? Hardly. I got used to the idea of being fat. My ideal future was always of a thin graduate. That idea was always in my mind. But if I was asked to be realistic, would I think I will be there in a couple of years? No, honestly no. I know I'm capable of much. My past experiences tell me so. But I also know how comfortable it is to be complacent, and simply let life be, while you sit on the couch with the T.V on. I know how hard it is to get out of the comfort zone.

But here I am, some pounds thinner and about to finish College. It is possible and perfectly doable. It's often been said, "don't ever let anyone tell you that you cannot do it". But I say, don't ever let that voice inside of you tell you that you can't. You are capable of much. God has given us this incredible power to change things within us and around us. You already have what you need because the maker of Heaven and Earth has already given it to you. If you have a goal, however big it is, however impossible it is, be realistic about it and say "If I want to achieve this, this and this is required of me" and then plan the next step to do it with discipline, but most of all, with the motivation that comes with the knowledge that this is possible and doable.

But enough of that, here is the weigh in for week 12:

Week 9 weigh in: 304.
Week 12 weigh in: 299.
Total pounds lost: 17.

It's been more than 6 years since I've been under 300 pounds. This is an important step for me. When I started this, I wasn't sure if I would be able to accomplish my goal. I was more inclined to think that I would probably fail. But here I am, under 300 pounds and almost finishing college. Sometimes I have to pinch myself.

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