The Church should be a Hospital

[Mar 2:16-17 ESV] 16 And the scribes of the Pharisees, when they saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors, said to his disciples, "Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?" 17 And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners."

I believe that we as Christians, as "little Christs" and followers of Him, we are to model Him, not only in His vision of ministry, but also in His attitudes toward sinners.

My heart is warmed when I read this passage, as I see Jesus' spending His precious and valuable time eating with sinners and tax collectors, what people considered the "scum of the earth" in those days.

Eating, in Jesus' time, was more than just eating food. It was a time to share food, ideas, experiences and simply life.

Eating was communal. Jesus was making community with sinners.

Think about it. He could have chosen to make community with the elite; the religious leaders, those in positions of authority in the roman world, and yet he chooses to spend his precious time and beautiful presence with sinners.

This blows my mind.

What also blows my mind is how different the church can be from Jesus.

I have observed and heard from many an attitude from churchgoers that mirrors more the Pharisees' than it does Jesus'

I look at my parish and wonder, if a smelly, homeless, drug addict walked in to church, would he feel welcome? Would people sit next to him or her? Would they try to keep their kids away from that person?

If a transgender individual walked in, would he feel welcomed and loved?

If someone suffering from alcoholism walked in, still with a hangover, would he or she feel welcomed and loved?

When I walk in my church, I wonder, "where are the homeless, the drug addicts, the prostitutes and pimps? Where are the drug dealers and the gangsters?"

Are our churches devoid of such people because the so called "sinners" are uninterested about God?

Or is it because they don't feel welcomed and loved?

Sure, we can shortcut to the first option, but I believe all of us have a hunger for God, for our hearts are restlessly yearning for its creator until they rest in Him.

I believe they don't usually come because they don't feel loved and accepted.

The church should be looking for the sinners. If Christ is our redemptor, if He truly is our savior, then our main interest should be sinners.

If the church (and I talk here not of the institution or a building, but of the community of believers, the mystical body of Christ) is like a hospital, then it should be filled with sick people.

But we can be so busy criticizing the sick that we forget that Christ is our cure! What a dysfunctional hospital we can be! A hospital full of doctors so busy criticizing and commenting and complaining about the sick and yet refusing to take care of them!

And when we do "take care of them" is usually so unChrist like. We Bible thump and call to repentance, we quote scriptures and point fingers. We remind them of their "shameful" sins and worldliness and their need to just "repent and change".

But we don't see this in Christ dealing with sinners. He had community with them.

The Bible tells us that He ate with sinners, not used-to-be-and-now-converted-sinners, meaning He never waited for them to repent before making community with them. He simply accepted them into His presence before they even repented! How opposite is that from what many of us do!

No brothers and sisters, it is in community that mutual repentance must come, not apart from community.

And before we can have community we must accept each other into our collective presence.

Community comes first, repentance and change as a result from community with Christ and His body.

We have it twisted. We demand that sinners repent and get "sanitized" enough before they are accepted into our community.

Brothers and sisters, let us fill our churches and our communities with the sinners the world most hate; the rejected, the drunk and the hungover.

Let us hold the hand of the drug addict on the streets, even if his or her other hands is still busy injecting their bodies with drugs.

Let us not just give food to the poor, but also sit down in the same table with them, eating the same food we give them while we share our life with them.

Let us go and make community with  the one prostituting their body on the street, even as they wait for their next "client".

Let's go and eat with sinners again, just as Jesus did. Maybe in the end we will realize we are just sinners like them.                                                                                                                              

New Year's Resolutions October Update!

What a month! I've been recently occupied with retreats, backpacking trip, and the much needed restful collapse.

The fall colors are in full bloom, with reds, yellows and browns sporadically glazing over the vast green. It is a beautiful time of the year, the in betweeness of summer and winter leaving us with unpredictable weather.

But enough of that! Let's jump into my New Year's Resolutions...

Resolution #1: Achieve my ideal weight.

So my first backpacking trip really helped with this resolution. We hiked for 10 miles and drank lots of water.

It was a beautiful, uncomfortable, and great experience!

Earlier on November (I know, I know, this is an October update, but I still want to share this. So to all the over-technical pharisees: please indulge me) I started a juice fast! I was originally shooting for 7 days, but I only managed 4 days and a half.

The first day was absolutely horrible. Headaches, nausea, weakness. Second day I woke up with migraines that lasted till late afternoon.

Third day was much better. I felt more clearly headed. I didn't feel as hungry as I did the first day.

Fourth day was equally good. And then the fifth day...

The migraines returned. I felt weaker and weaker. Light headed and nauseous. After three juices at 12 PM, things only got worse.

I felt the world turned upside down. Cold sweats, shaking. Darkness slowly covering my vision. I looked at my shaking hands and they looked pale, and then, I got scared.

I had to break the fast early. I ate two oatmeal cookies and felt almost instantly better.

I guess I have to be extra careful with fasts when I'm diabetic.

I wish I had weighed myself at the beginning of the month to see how much weight I lost, but I can say that I did lose weight. People have made comments on how "skinnier" I looked.

Resolution #2: Keep my room clean, year long.

I have been trying to go back to my old trick of cleaning up my room for short intervals of time every day, making the dreaded task more bearable.

While my room looks a bit better because of this feeble attempt, it still is a long way from being clean.

Part of this is my lack of consistency, as I find myself doing other things.

Resolution #3: Update my blog regularly, minimum once a week.

It has been almost a month since I last updated this blog. True, I have been more busy as of late, but whenever I made time for writing I took off for more entertaining and less mind demanding experiences.

But I have some things brewing inside my mind and heart that I want to share with all of you soon, so stay tuned!

Loneliness vs. Solitude

Believe it or not, one of the most difficult things for me about moving into my own place is not so much the responsibilities this would entail, but a sense of loneliness that was and at times is, difficult to shake off.

I rent a small room in a house full of disconnected people. There's like 7 of us living in a house, with hardly any connection with each other.

We share bathroom, kitchen, and sometimes words.

My room is small. Being there can feel very trapping.

I hardly felt at home at this place.

Sundays were the worst days. I would go to Mass in the morning, talk with some friends, and then, disappear into my room.

I mean, what else could I do? Pray? Check. Watch a movie? Check. Listen to music? Check.

The loneliness still persisted.

I would usually try to escape this feeling of loneliness by going to spend a weekend visiting my parents, escaping with friends from church on odd adventures, or visiting friends nearby.

A few months back I had an intuition that God was and is trying to use this time for something.

I felt Him speaking to me, one lonely Sunday afternoon, "Why don't you use this time to practice solitude with me?"

The obvious became clear, as it's often the case when one encounters some wise words. Herein lies my solution; not in escapades or in entertainment, but in solitude with God.

I mean, I've done solitude before. I had some solitude retreats before, and while it can be difficult at times, it usually is a calm, healing and reflecting time with God.

But what was missing with my Sunday afternoons was simply intentionality. If I were intentional in using that time as "solitude time with God" then the loneliness would usually leave me.

There is huge difference between loneliness and solitude, though outwardly it may look the same.

Loneliness may be a part of bigger issues that we need to address with God, and solitude may be our dealing of those issues with God. Both can be painful, but one leaves you thirsting while the other satisfied.

Loneliness is a thirst for water, solitude is drinking from the fountain of living water.

New Year's Resolutions September Update!

The month of September is one of the few months were I felt I made some tangible and recognizable progress!

It hasn't been perfect. It never is.

It is one month, however, where I felt more in control in many areas of my life. It didn't start with a happy sunrise, but with a gloomy and cloudy environment. I was in a funk.

God took all of this and transformed it by reminding me of some lessons learned and ignored with the helpless passing of time.

More on that later! Let's dive in into my 2013 resolutions.

Resolution #1: Achieve my ideal weight.

I lost some weight! I have decided to exercise more. Last week, for example, I started running!

I always hated running. It seemed to me like a torturous punishment, and seeing how many types of effective exercise are out there, it seemed pointless to me.

Impulsed by some friends I decided to give it a try. Who knows? Maybe I'll get used to it and start liking it.

Resolution #2: Keep my room clean, year long.

Okay, my room is still a mess, but at least it's less messy than before! I have made small but important improvements.

I have said many times before in this blog that the opportunity to mature comes at you daily, even in seemingly unimportant tasks.

What I have discovered this month, however, is that it goes beyond tasks. It can all be covered under the umbrella of decisions.

Life is full of decisions. To some of us, accustomed to the habitual MO of life, it can be incredibly easy to live it in autopilot.

This can take away from us the power of conscious decision making, and I have come to believe that the best way to grow is by taking this power back.

Anyways, small conscious decisions have helped me clean up my room a bit.

Resolution #3: Update my blog regularly, minimum once a week.

I am glad to say that I've done this for the month of September!

This blog serves to me an utilitarian purpose. It really helps me to keep focused on the journey I decided to take a year ago.

The commitment I took to update this blog has helped me in being focused and accountable in this journey. 

I'm glad I took it.

God is committed to us

It's been a year since I started this blog! Back then I realized that I needed some serious changes in my life if I was to continue doing the work God is calling me to do.

I made the commitment to God to mature more in His image. This blog was a way to document and share those struggles.

There are a few things I have learned this year. Maturity comes slowly, painfully slow.

It's not like I naively believed that by the end of the year I would be a complete new person, equally balanced in all the right places.

But I never thought it would be this slow.

I also learned that growth comes not steadily, but in stages. This is important to know, since disappointment can quickly sink in at seeing how you sometimes take 3 steps forward and then two back.

The most important thing I learned, however, is that God remains heavily committed to us throughout this process.

No matter how little growth we bring back to Him, no matter how hopeless we may feel in some stages, He never gives up on us.

He never gave up on me.

There were times were I thought change was almost impossible, too difficult for me, and therefore felt hopeless about the whole enterprise.

I felt weary, and wanted to try no more.

I didn't see, however, how God in His Grace was working behind the scenes.

I didn't see how He slowly brought subtle changes, not because I made the changes, but because in every encounter with Him, in every single moment of intimacy, His presence slowly changes you.

I was driving home one night after work when it suddenly dawned on me how God has remained committed to me.

Those who have been reading this blog know that I struggle with being firm. It is in fact, one of the most difficult traits I need to grow in my life.

At the beginning of the year, the owner of the gas station called me in to the office.

He said "you really need to pay more attention to shoplifters. I haven't seen anyone as bad as you for keeping shoplifters out! They know when you work and they come here to steal! I told you this many times now. At this point it would be cheaper to hire somebody else. Please do this!"

I know I needed to pay more attention. I know I needed to be more firm with shoplifters, otherwise I would lose my job. I took this as an opportunity to grow in my firmness.

After a few months of trying, my assistant manager told me one night before leaving work, "I just talked to the owner and he is very pleased with how you've been working. You are like one of our top 4 know in keeping shoplifters out!"

As I was driving home that night, still digesting those words, I felt as if God was speaking in my heart "I'm committed to you".

Hallelujah! He is committed to us!

Practicing Virtues - Temperance (Update)

Almost two months ago, I published a post on temperance, where I committed to practicing that virtue, and also to give an update about my experiences.

You can view the original post here.

So, how has it been?

Good and bad, to be honest.

As I said in my last post, New Year's Resolutions August Update, my body and mind seemed to rebel against resolutions and commitments right after I made them.

In observing myself, however, I have learned a few things.

Right after I started I was mildly temperate, fluctuating between abstinence and indulgence, at least when it came to eating.

I was heavily distraught by the ebb and flow of my behavior, and thought myself, at one point, utterly incapable of any substantial change in this regard.

I continued to observe myself, and I realized that I needed to go deeper into my problems. It's not just about making a commitment, sit back, and observe how the changes come naturally.

It is not as if behavioral change comes naturally, mysteriously fed by the powerful force of commitments.

I forgot something I mentioned earlier in this blog: maturity doesn't come naturally. It comes with a fight.

Every opportunity that present itself in life is an opportunity to fight or fly, to deal with them with the mind of Christ, or with the mind of the world (Philippians 2:5).

I remembered something that I discovered almost a year ago, where I felt I grew faster than before; that is, that growth has to be intentional, and that every task is an opportunity to ask yourself, "How would Christ do this?"

This simple, and even cliched question, forces you to observe your actions and how they mirror the image of Christ or not.

I started to ask this question more frequently, and the changes it has brought to my life are remarkable!

If we truly believe, that we, as sons and daughters of God, have the mentality of Christ, then we can trust in the subtle guidance of the Spirit when we submit ourselves, and our tasks, to Him.

How would Christ deal with my job? Would He take extra minutes when He has a break?

Would He clean halfheartedly this garbage can? Would He shout back insults to the rude customer?

How would Christ deal with this meal choice? Would He stuff himself with unhealthy food to satisfy His stomach?

Would Christ leave His clothes on the floor because it is more convenient to do so?

These difficult questions, easier ignored, has helped me in making small changes in my behavior. I feel more temperate than before. I feel more in control of the choices I make mostly because, well, I'm giving myself the opportunity to make them.

And that is the key to practicing virtues: giving yourself the opportunity to make constant choices in your life, instead of allowing the old behavioral autopilot of our lives.

For if we are faithful with little, we will be faithful with much.

New Year's Resolution August Update!

It hasn't been a good month when it comes to my resolutions.

I didn't lose any weight.

My room is a mess.

My blog has been neglected.

Okay, I'm done. Bye.

Actually, let's dig a little bit deeper into this.


Resolution #1: Achieve my ideal weight.

My nutrition sucks, to put it bluntly. I've been less careful with what I eat. It is almost as if I do worse when a resolution is made. It is as if my body rebels against my mental desires to eat healthy and simple.

If you recall, my last post was about eating healthier and simpler. While I did this a couple of times, I haven't been consistent.

Why is this the case? Why am I like this? If I try to not be distracted I am usually more distracted. If I try not to think of food then my mind is occupied by thoughts of food. Maybe it is better not to make resolutions at all.

But I believe the problem is not in the making or not of resolutions. It goes deeper than that. Call it the good ol' Pauline dilemma as expressed in Romans 7 (For what I want to do I do not do...). Call it our fallen nature. I do not know.

It is a place in my being in great need of the healing grace of God.

Resolution #2: Keep my room clean, year long.

Am I ready to call this a resounding failure? Not quite. Let this resolution suffer a long, miserable and agonizing death!

Not to sound too negative but I feel I've been less attentive in my room cleanliness than I have in the past. You would think that making a resolution, along with monthly updates in this blog, would make a positive difference in the overall cleanliness of my room.

It hasn't. Ditto to what I said in resolution #1.

Resolution #3: Update my blog regularly, minimum once a week.

Okay, okay, last month I made an apparent mental Freudian slip, since I erroneously wrote "once a month" instead of once a week.

If my initial resolution was "once a month", then I wouldn't be eating this hearty crow.

But in being fair, this is one resolution that has actually impacted positively my behavior. I have updated my blog rather consistently, despite my occasional slips into the mud of inconsistency.

That is it for this month. I will see you next month!