Earthquakes, Halloween, Ghosts and Jesus...

I feel much better at this moment. A couple of weeks have passed since that chaotic week when I lost my job, when ministry seemed to go downhill, and my anxiety and emotions were getting the best of me.

Many opportunities for ministry have come my way now that I don't work at nights. I'm not ready to say that I lost my job just so I can concentrate on my ministry, but I know that God can bring out good from many unfortunate events in our lives.

This past Thursday's bible study was great. I took my team-mate's idea and, since Halloween is just around the corner, we talked about demons and ghosts.

The guys loved it, and everyone seemed anxious to share their ghosts stories. Hearing the almost fabled nature of these stories made me wonder how much of it was true and how much of it was glorified for mere shock value.

We had two earthquakes in San Francisco that day, and the second one added a literal shock value to our stories. While we were in the middle of sharing our stories the earth started to shake. The room's lights went off for less than a second, and everyone was in a state of utter shock.

Thankfully, the lights came on again. Everyone was silent. My mind was wildly amused by the apparent coincidence, thinking to myself, “what the heck is going on here?”. It was as if God decided to add His little touch to the stories.

Of course, talking about darkness seems meaningless, unless you include the contrasting light of Jesus. Later we talked about how we can fight darkness with God.

I learned many things in the past two weeks, and on that Thursday night I had to relearn something that I had apparently forgotten: the message of the Gospel is unnervingly simple, and its strength lies in its magnificent simplicity.

No need to complicate matters with heavy and pretentious theological terms. No need to delve into deep philosophical complications. And while these theological and philosophical endeavors have their purpose and place in God's plan for us, they fall short in revealing God's glory.

I learned the lesson St. John Bosco learned in his ministry with the youth, that the Gospel message should be presented so simply that even a little kid could understand it. Oddly enough, a simple presentation of God's message often leads to deep discussions, and more importantly, deep transformations in our lives.

Photo Credit: Sarah Ackerman.

Sorrow...

It has been over a month since I updated my blog. The reasons for this are many. Part of it is the lost of habits that transitions can bring. Other part is just the difficult times I've been having lately.

I don't wish to just write a list of "bad" things that has happened to me, and so enrich my feeling of self-pity, however tempting that may be.

I just want to share my feelings of helplessness and sorrow.

I feel like I'm failing in all areas of my life.

I just moved into a missionary order that I love and works in the same area where I've been volunteering for the past 5 years. It is a great joy to be received in this community!

But of course, this is not to say that I don't have any difficulties. I feel that I have failed in ministry. Last Thursday's Bible study was a nightmare! I found myself giving a topic that nobody seemed interested at all. A very humbling experience.

I haven't been feeling that good over the past two weeks, as confusion and doubt started to sink in in my mind. Am I really hearing God's voice when I seek His guidance? Or have I deluded myself to such point that I guide myself to wherever I see fit?

Things in life can come up that can threaten this sense of guidance, and I feel like I'm walking in darkness. Where is God's guiding light? Can I even recognize it? I know that His sheep hear His voice, but do I really?

I have reasons to believe that I do, and reasons to believe that I don't. The doubts seem endless, and the anxiety that comes from them can be overwhelming.

I was feeling like this when I was  heading to work last night, and being fired from the job didn't help at all.


I don't know what to do exactly, other than beg God for His guiding voice in me. I hope these times will help me to grow in my relationship with God, instead of alienating me from Him.

God, have mercy on us all. Amen.

Photo Credit: fallingwater123.

Waiting for My Next Big Step in My Life...

What is it about waiting that is so difficult? Why is it that most of the time we rather just not wait?

Could it be that waiting can be a personal limbo? Maybe waiting can force us to stay in idleness? Or maybe that we lose control while we wait?

Whatever the reason, I'm finding it really difficult to wait before taking my next big step in my life.

I applied with the missionary order InnerCHANGE, and thank God, they accepted me!

When I heard the news I was very excited, literally dancing in my steps.

I also got a new a job that fits almost perfectly with my schedule with the order.

But I can't move in with them until mid-September, and the wait is getting difficult. It is not simply a childish desperation to move to the next stage of my life. The difficulty can get heavy at times, sorrowful even.

I moved in with my aunts and uncles in Daly City in August because is closer to my new job. This is (I think) the third time that I move the past year.

While I'm training at my job (a one month training) I can't do much  ministry because of the schedule. I train for one hour every weekday at night.

I really don't feel comfortable where I am. Not because my family here is not welcoming, which they are. It just doesn't feel like home. It doesn't feel like I'm doing much either, just living one day at a time.

I guess moving around and being surrounded by this instability can have its toll on you. But is that all there is to this feeling of sorrow?

Ever since my summer internship ended with this order I have been feeling very nostalgic. Nostalgic about the experiences lived in it, nostalgic about Oakland, nostalgic about many things.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm entering some sort of mild depression. I wonder if there is more to it than just the simple fact that I'm waiting and there's not much I can do about it. Have I lost my peace? I don't think so. But there is still some heaviness about this period.

I'm very excited about my future, however, and I can't wait to see what's ahead of me. I genuinely feel called to this order.

So all I can do is wait. And also pray.


Photo Credit: red twolips.

Oakland Catholic Worker House

This is my second month in Oakland. The ministry opportunities for this city are numerous, so much so that it can get overwhelming. The harvest is ripe in this ministry field.

One ministry opportunity we were fortunate to connect with is the Oakland Catholic Worker House. They offer hot meals to anyone who knocks on their doors, and shelter to many Latin American Immigrants.

After coming one afternoon to OCW during a prayer walk in East Oakland, we promised that we would return some other day to volunteer. We met many of the volunteers, including Lee (if you're reading this, am I spelling your name right?) who was staying there for the summer.

So we came back this past week the day before Lee was leaving (great timing!). We helped with the cleaning and attending the doorbell, which normally signaled that someone is looking for a meal.

I was amazed by the amount of meals served at that place, and how one volunteer was expected to carry out the whole operation by herself.

After the kitchen was closed and the cleaning was done, Lee and I talked for a while about our lives and ministry. She is a theologian student and hopes to finish her Master degree soon. I told her about the ministry with Comunidad San Dimas and she seemed really interested in it.

"Well, maybe you can come next year as a summer intern to try it out" I told her. She said she would think about it.

Before saying good bye, knowing that I will probably not see her again, at least not anytime soon, I told her, "See you next year!". "Ha!" she responded while laughing. "I hope you are not a prophet".

We will see.

Playing Soccer as a way to do ministry

Matt's face was striking when he came into the house at almost 7pm. He was talking on the phone, his eyes open in perpetual shock.

His voice was unusual, raspy and deep. "Man I was seeing stars coming over here!". "You guys won?" I asked, amused. "We lost. We were tied by the end of the game. We had the option of going to extra time or penalties, for some reason they decided to play extra time!"

It was 94° outside, and they played soccer for two hours.

He immediately went to the fridge to get some orange juice to recover from his sugar low.

He tried watching t.v for a while, and his face of comical affliction reminded me of my Sims characters when I willfully neglect their basic needs.

The park was literally a hellhole. The field was uneven and the sparse grass spots struggled to cover it. The thing could have easily been confused with an immense abandoned lot. The only seats available was a miserable couch someone had abandoned there, which the guys covered with blankets to make it usable.

And then there were the young guys playing. They were full of energy. Most of them came from Central America. All of them seemed amiable. Some of them were gangbangers. 

I connected with some of them, playing with them for a while before the game began. At the same time I had this deep sense that a huge ministry opportunity was being opened for us.

Many hours later, when both Matt and I were at the house, I realized that I wasn't the only one with that sense.

"Daniel, I had this 'Holy Spirit moment'", he told me. I got closer to him, intrigued. "Yes, when I was playing with those kids it just hit me, there could be a ministry opportunity there". "I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt it" I responded with my usual smile.

The gangbangers who were playing were from a different gang than the "chili peppers". Maybe God is trying to connect us with these two prominent gangs.

Many of them want to learn English but are unable to go to night classes because of their schedule. They told him that if only they could find somewhere they could go to learn English that would fit their schedule, many of them would gladly go. Matt had the idea that maybe we can offer them English classes in the context of a Bible study. We'll see.

Who knew that playing soccer was a legit way to do ministry?

Photo Credit: ElvertBarnes.

Scripture Tag- My Three Favorite Verses

    Trista from not a minx, a moron, or a parasite tagged me in a blog meme to blog about my three favorite verses. Seeing the fun in all of this, I began to think about my favorite verses. Truth is, there are too many to choose from! But I managed to narrow it down to three verses.

One

Corinthians 12:3

"Therefore I tell you that no one who is speaking by the spirit of God says, 'Jesus be cursed', and no one can say 'Jesus is Lord', except by the Holy Spirit" (NIV)

Those who know my testimony can tell you how important the outpouring of the Holy Spirit was in it (you can read it in the "About Me" section above). Being drawn to the Charismatic Renovation movement, this verse is particularly interesting to me. Knowing that I am able to say with that "Jesus is Lord!" only through the Holy Spirit brings me a lot of joy.

Two

Psalm 23:1

"The LORD is my Shepherd, I shall not want" (King James Version)

Yes, I know, this verse is too popular, but for a good reason. I know that if I make Jesus my Lord, leaving everything into His hands and putting Him first above anything else, then I shall not want anything, for I have everything I need in Him. But this is easier said than done! Our pride gets in the way, our need to have control over our lives and surroundings. This is our daily struggle, our constant surrendering to Him as we die to ourselves to live for Him.

Three

James 2:17

"In the same way, faith by itself, if it's not accompanied by action, is dead" (NIV)

This is one of my favorite verses not only for the potential apologetic discussion it brings against the doctrine of "Sola Fide", but also because it is a reminder that our faith in Christ, in order to be alive, must be accompanied by works. It is easy to get comfortable and feel that we have accomplished what is "needed of us" by simply going to church every Sunday. As if we are making God a favor just by going to Church on Sundays! This can happen to many of us, myself included. My prayer is that we reflect on ourselves and our actions so that we learn that this "church thing" is not a duty for every Sunday, but a living faith sustained by a relationship with the living God and those around us.

So there they are! And know it's my turn to tag:

Deacon John's Space. 

Journey of a Mercedarian Pilgrim. 

another cup of coffee. 

Rules of the game: You must include a link to my blog, blog about your favorite three verses and tag three other bloggers. Simple, right?

Doors being Opened in Oakland

I think I'm starting to like this place. Today marked my second day working as an intern for InnerCHANGE in Oakland, and it was a hectic, at times tedious, and yet satisfying day.

We started off the day with mass, going to the beautiful parish of St. Elizabeth. We had the opportunity to listen to a passionate preacher, Father Martin. His message of forgiveness as an important aspect in working toward justice with the poor was not only touching, but fitting to my experience.

I introduced myself to Fr. Martin, telling him my involvement with a missionary order for the summer, and that I was looking for a parish and for some ministry opportunities. He welcomed me warmly, and instructed me to come back to the parish office for more instructions.

After mass, our little group of three (my leader, her fiancee and me) went to one of the leader's house for morning prayer. After prayer and lunch we went grocery shopping and found ourselves burdened with unforgiving loads of bags, walking for one mile to get home.

We walked approximately 5 miles in our little adventure.

Arriving at the house, we didn't even bother with putting the groceries inside the fridge, but we were automatically led to the couch, where the three of us crashed simultaneously. 

Minutes later we awoke from our improvised nap and headed out to the parish office. We had a meeting with Fr. Martin where we shared our work with InnerCHANGE and our desire to connect in some way or another with the parish.

We talked about gangs. He shared how the parish High School is unfortunately known as a Chilli Peppers gang (not actual name of the gang, of course). He told us of the multiple ministries opportunities available in the parish, and that if we wanted to work on something specific he is open to listen about it.

He also told us of the charismatic nature of the parish (yay!) and of the two youth groups available at church.

We went out from our meeting rejoicing for the door God was clearly opening for us. "It's a Chilli Peppers High School!" I absurdly said with joy to the group. As I did this I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit stirring in me. I feel this is a great ministry opportunity and I'm excited to see how God will develop it.

It is unfortunate that these streets are filled with violence and tragedy. The stains of poverty are clearly seen in the colorful garments that these streets wear. The poignant faces of  frustration and struggle are looking at us from every corner.

But there is also great joy in these streets. Openness and friendship meets our gazing eyes almost everywhere. There is the hope of an open field, where the seed of the gospel is being planted by many. Its fruits are clearly seen with the eyes of faith.

Photo Credit: jdnx.