Humility is Truth Part I

"Humility is truth" said my spiritual director, as we talked about humility.

One of my favorite stories of Jesus is the washing of the disciple's feet. We find it on John 13. We all know the story, and so I won't transcribe it here. I will, however, quote from it throughout this post.

"During Supper" (John 13:2a ESV). This supper is important because it was just before the Feast of the Passover. There is even some debate among theologians who suggest that this is the Passover meal.

Jesus and the Disciples were eating with their feet dirty. It was the custom of the day to wash the host's feet before the meal, because as they sat down on pillows around a round table, the feet would be too close to the meal.

Imagine! Dirty feet from walking on sandals all day close to a meal. Why didn't anyone think of washing their feet before eating?

Well this job was reserved to the lowest slaves in the household. We know from Luke 22:23 that the disciples were discussing who was the greatest among them during this time.

They knew that washing of the feet was essential in their culture before having a meal, but no one volunteered for the task because that would put them in the lowest position, culturally speaking.

So instead they chose to eat with their feet dirty!

Jesus knew that His hour had come, and wanted to take advantage of these precious last hours to teach something to His disciples. He chose Humility.

When Jesus decided to interrupt dinner to wash His disciple's feet, He did more than simply preach a sermon on humility. He did more than taking a commitment of Humility. He did more than a ceremony that is repeated annually.

What is Humility? For the longest time I thought that Humility was simply beating yourself down, accepting the "fact" that you are inferior to others. A low self esteem seemed like the sour medicine that I must take to force myself into humility.

I don't believe that anymore.

"You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am" (John 13:13 ESV).

Jesus makes no apologies in this story of who He is. He didn't say nah guys, you have it all wrong, you think I'm all great and stuff, but I actually kinda suck. That would be ridiculous, in light of what He is.

And so it is ridiculous to beat ourselves down, in light of what we are in Christ, and mask this self violence with the pretty face of Humility.

Jesus is humble not in despite of what He is, but because of who He is.

Because He knows that "the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going back to God" (John 13:3 ESV), He is able to assume the position of a slave in service.

His identity was not in how this world sees greatness in their different cultures, but it was based on God's love.

And God's love is self giving. How are we to love without serving?

If Jesus wasn't of God, He would be forced to support His identity on other things other than God. Maybe He would have chosen His culture, His social status, or the intellectual knowledge that He had.

But cultures, with their complex stratifications and social divisions, can force upon us rules of engagements that limit who we serve and how we serve. Just like the disciples were forced to not wash each other's feet because, in their culture, that would put them in a lower position than the rest.

Jesus, because He is not of this world, is replacing all of those rules with one: love one another. It's not who we love what's important, but simply to love.

And Love is self giving. And Humility is just an expression of that love, where you forget who you are in this world and simply give yourself in loving it.

A chat on the bus with an Atheist...

It was a beautiful afternoon in Concord, CA. The imposing sun radiating, its warm rays hued in golden painted the atmosphere, giving life all around it, and erasing the memories of the gray, rainy, cold winter. I was walking out of the movie theater in downtown, went for a walk to a bookstore, and bought the book "The Collar, A Year Inside a Catholic Seminary" by Jonathan Englert. Enjoying the beautiful afternoon with a walk through downtown, I finally arrived to the bus stop at the BART station. Next to me was young person. Latino, around 5 feet and 9 inches. His hair was neatly combed backwards, casually dressed, but surprisingly presentable. I opened my new book and started reading the introduction. He looked at me, then at the book title and read it aloud "a year inside a Catholic Seminary" said he with an air of dissatisfaction, as if saying "I wouldn't want to be in a Seminary". "Are you very religious?" he asked in Spanish. "Yes" I replied, "matter of fact I'm a seminarian myself". He opened his eyes, his head nodding a few times., "What about the sexual abuse scandals?" he asked. "I don't understand the question" I responded. "It doesn't concern you?". "Well, yes it does, I think it's terrible what those priests did". "What I mean with 'it doesn't concern you' is that you are not there for that reason, it has nothing to do with you" he clarified. "Yes, of course, I'm not there for that reason". "You know, I'm an atheist". "Oh really?" I responded. The Atheist looked very surprised at this and said "You are the first person who reacts this way, interesting". "What do you mean?" I asked smiling. "Usually people call me names and stuff when I say this".

Our bus arrived. He started telling me a bit about his life. How he had tried out some churches, was taught to be a Christian but eventually fell off the wagon. About his kid and her mother, and how she pleaded for him to be at his son's baptism. "I told her that I don't have to be there, it doesn't mean anything f to me". An old friend got on the bus, one that I haven't seen for years. We talked for a bit, but then went back to the Atheist. He then started questioning me about my vocation (or rather my present discernment of this vocation, which I may or may not have). "Obviously, since I am an atheist, I don't believe in the love of God, but one must be much in love with God to be a priest" "Yes" I responded. "Is it love for God the reason you're pursuing this?" "Yes" I responded, knowing that my love for God is not as strong as it should be, or as I want it to be. "Did you have a romantic disappointment?". "No, well, I did have a disappointing relationship with my ex, but I spent 2 years alone discerning whether I want this or not, its not because of that that I'm here". "I'm asking this because too many go into seminary because of these sorts of disillusionments"." I know" I said, and added, "I think that's a terrible mistake" Being on the topic of love, I remarked that I didn't know how people called him names and mistreated him for being an atheist. He said that sometimes people thought he was incapable of loving. "But I am loyal, I know about love, and have morals" he asserted. "Obviously" I said, "as a believer of God I believe that he is the source of love, and you are not outside of this love. I dunno why people think you are incapable of love, why they treat you like an almost inhuman just because you are an atheist". "Yes, inhuman, some think I am like that". After that he received a call, "I'm on my way on the bus" he told the other person on the phone. Our conversation ended and he continued talking on the phone.

I honestly don't know if the Atheist was being truthful or not. Was he playing the victim? But the scenario that he painted was not very unrealistic. I have seen it unfold a few times in my life. We don't have many atheists in Latin America, and is always surprising to find one. I do think that this conversation, though, can be a warning to how Unchristian we can be. Jesus calls us to be loving. I'm not preaching tolerance and being accepting of everything, but simply accepting and loving of others. So many times do we fail to love the sinner and hate the sin. We fail to see that atheists are atheists for a reason. Some have emotional scarring, others intellectual reasons. Some, sadly, are atheists because the behavior of Christians too often doesn't reflect the love of Christ. We can be hypocrites, condemning "holier than thou" Christians, failing to see that we are here by His grace. We are Christians because we are sinners. We fall. We commit the very sins we denounce in others. We fail to love as Christ loves all of us. No human creation of God is incapable of loving, whether he or she believes in God or not. But we Christians can fail in loving others when we don't reflect Christ in our lives, but rather our own darkness disguised as light. Jesus came not to condemn the world, but to save it. May we do the same as His disciple.